Scene I: Place: Palakaad, Feb 2002

It was the time when my cousin anna was getting married. All of my amma's side people had assembled two days in advance. My periamma's house was getting full every minute, still the auto rickshaws kept coming in dropping alteast three people every time and some heavy luggages. It was a major gathering, lots of gossips and people talking everywhere. I had got my admission results a week ago. I had got an admission for my Masters at Texas A&M University. I was all excited. More than me was my mother cause it was the right time when she can proudly tell people that her "Kutan" is going abroad.

I am a Tamil Iyer. My family has lived all over India thanks to my father's job as a banker. As a result, the Tamil that my brother - Prasanna and I speak is not really up to the mark (!) as my relatives and friends will say, if u ask them! My uncle's kind advice to my mother, his elder sister, is that we should have a New Tamil dictionary for our version of the Tamil!

"You must surely be from Palghat," the fat one remarked, slurping a generous dose of Veeraswamy's piping mulligatawny. 'Surely not here in Central London,' I mused, slicing a dosai with my keen incisors. The fat one must have discovered my antecedents the way I hissed a 'thoshai' instead of the 'dosai'. Or probably I had failed the Biblical 'sibboleth' test by stuttering a hovercrafting 'zhzh' instead of a tongue-braking 'lll'. Or did I stacatto a 'chchch' instead of a 'ssss'? I wasn't too sure.

The other day I decided to phone my paati. I was sure she would have finished all her morning work and would have just started to relax. She always complained that I don't speak enough to her. I thought that I would give her no reason to complain that day. When she answered, I told her enthusiastically that it was me. I was pretty pleased with myself, thinking that I was making her happy.

For some people it is Manali (Kulu) for others it may be Buckingham Palace or Paris. Well, I can only think of Manali, Buckingham Canal & Parrys (by bus) with very few bucks in my pocket.

With family away it gives enough opportunity for experimentation and adventure - during office hours, I am developing ventures, thereafter I am adventerous. In office I am asked to 'sell' then find myself in a cell. Getting ready early in the morning I had to make rapid strides for telephone calls, cooker alarm or milkman's call. (or even nature's call) then dressing up for office I find socks (one each with different colours) - thanks to the powercut. Then when everything is ready and I start my car, a button from my shirt seeks divorce or something snaps as if this is the opportune time.

My cousin brother is getting marriedHurrah!!!

Wondering why I am so happy? Well he is marrying a pattathi!! This tiny detail may seem like nothing to you, but it means everything for us.

I will tell you whyMy cousin brother has been in the USA for the past 10 + years. He went there as a student, started working there and is now, almost a citizen of US of A. Before he went there, he had paid some visits to Kerala, to see his paatti and his uncles and his cousins. He had been born and bought up in Madras, in a cosmopolitan environment. Kerala was, I suppose, an enchanted place where things move too slowly for him and where the people were too illiterate for his liking.

"Here Naa, the coffee is getting cold. Have it this second", growled Pankajam Maami.

Shaambu Maama - Mayavaram Saambamurthy Rajagopalan to the world - was startled. Obediently, he took the coffee offered by his wife with a beatific smile.